Okay this post is gonna have several parts to it so have fun.

A. Stars Dance

Stars Dance is Selena’s (Gomez if you don’t know who she is (Justin Bieber’s ex girlfriend if you don’t know who that is)) fourth album and first solo album. It’s basically all about sex and doesn’t consist of any songs she wrote even though she lied about writing them. 

Selena doesn’t have a large fanbase as we can tell from Stars Dance not selling 300k in the United States even after 4 months of its release and excessive promotion. 

B. Review

The album isn’t good anyways as reviews say.

(x)

And when you listen to it, you will know where they’re coming from. It’s full of washed up pop songs that you either 1. get bored after listening to it the first time. 2. feel like you’ve already listened to it once you listen to a different song. and 3. you get a headache if you listen to it. You get a headache mainly because the auto-tune and the beats are too much for a human’s ear to handle. I would know. Gotta admit though, the songs are quite catchy, but annoying.

C. Tour

The Stars Dance tour is quite empty as we learned here and as critics say.

The majority of her fanbase consist of little children as she says multiple times. So it begs the question “Why is your album all about sex? Why is your tour full of provocative dance moves?”

I mean I understand when Disney stars try to shed  off their Disney image because once you’re over 20, you don’t really want to be known as a Disney star. But how are you gonna have a sex album when you’re still known for your Disney show (and relationship) no matter how hard you try to escape? How are you gonna have a sex album when your fanbase consists mainly of children and pre-teens.

If you’re Britney Spears, or Xtina or Miley Cyrus or Demi Lovato, it’s pretty understandable if you’re out there acting like your age in front of your fans mainly because these stars have a teenage to adult audience, but Selena Gomez? Why is she out there twerking and out half naked, and grinding on her dancers when there are kids in the audience? 

Why are you covering a song that says “I wanna fuck you tonight” when 11 year olds are there jamming out to it when it’s passed their curfew??

Why are you on these things that resemble stripper poles???

um..

what

are

you

doing

I’m personally not one to call anyone a slut or call them out for being “unclassy” because I believe that Hollywood runs on entertainment and no artist’s first priority is class in Hollywood, but I mean if you’re gonna go around and preach about class yet your concerts are practically full of grinding and provocative dance moves, you’re only contradicting yourself.

If you’re wondering why the media hasn’t caught up on this, it’s because none of her shows have exceeded 20,000 people in attendance and no one really cares about Selena. And no that’s not hate, Selena is just not big of a star as you guys think or make her out to be. 

Alright lets get to the part where Classlena’s tour and songs are all about sex.

D. Songs

1. Birthday

20 seconds into the song, she starts moaning….. from there you should know it’s a sex song but let me educate you some more. Hopefully you’re all sitting down before you faint from how no one acknowledged this.

“Falling into you, falling into me” sexual activity going on. SO YUMMY! 

“Cake and cream” cake = ass, and she sings Birthday Cake by Rihanna at her concert. Cream = whip cream which can be used in sexual activity but I’m pretty sure she’s relating it to cum.

“Blow your dreams away with me, so yummy.” blowjob. 

And during that part, this is the dance move

and bopping your head that way while singing about a blowjob only says one thing, she’s imitating a blowjob. 

Basically, the song is “Birthday” is an analogy for giving a blowjob. And Selena is familiar with analogies since she shaded Justin by using one.

2. Slow Down

This song is talking about a hookup because 

“Now that I have captured your attention….. show me how you make a first impression”

“I’m ready for inspection” well if you’re stupid and don’t know how to connect the dots, she’s talking about getting fucked.

“Oh, oh, can we take it nice and slow” well… self explanatory unless you’re one of Selena’s 8 year old fans

Do I HAVE to explain that lyric to you? 

“I’m accepting applications” she’s a hooker or a prostitute or both

Can you just imagine the 8 year olds at concerts singing along to this? Oh lord.

Okay so he or she is breathing her in and then she says “No stop until the morning” so basically they’re having sex for quite a while now because you know she’s ready for it YEAAAAAAAH!

3. Stars Dance

Lol I thought this wasn’t a sex song until I took a look at the lyrics but I actually like this song. 

basically it’s a sex song I mean “I’ll make you whisper my name and never leave the room” she’s gonna seduce him and because of that, he’ll want more. 

And during that part, these are the dance moves

The chorus is basic. She’s just repeating the title of the song.

And the performance consists of grinding

“I can dance for you.” Considering the rest of the lyrics, we should interpret what this line means.

4. Like A Champion

This song isn’t about sex, surprisingly. However, what does confuse is why this line is in it

I feel like they just wanted to add the word “sexy” in there for no reason. Oh well, the song is annoying and repetitive anyways. 

5. Come & Get It

*laughs historically to self*

If you’re wondering why I’m laughing, it’s because the whole world and Selena, think that she’s classy yet here she is telling the world to come get her vagina. Oh Selly, you give class a whole new definition. 

The dance consists of wrong Bollywood moves because what she’s doing is not a Bollywood dance and she actually did have a Bollywood move included in the first performance of the song but she removed it for god knows what reason. 

The entire song is a reference to sex. She’s telling the guy (or girl) to come get her vagina because she’s gonna be sittin’ right here, real patient. 

6. Forget Forever

This song is just a ridiculously auto-tuned and repetitive song. 

7. Save The Day

This song is a more appropriate sexual song, I guess. I wouldn’t say it’s too much about sex but lets take a look at the lyrics

The song is dumb and makes no sense. Basically, she can’t believe that her body is still moving because she’s sore from.. well you know and she doesn’t want the sex to end. 

Moving on. 

8. B. E. A. T.

This song is just dumb and ridiculously repetitive…. as the rest of the album is. She wants to make someone bend their back and she likes the beat in her face since she’s Selena Gomez and her songs suck. Moving on.

9. Write Your Name

LMAO. Selena said this was for her fans. Oh Selly, so dumb just like them. For my Selenators who are reading this, your idol thinks you’re stupid because you will buy her little act meanwhile the song is talking about romance and sexual activity. 

The song is ridiculously repetitive and stupid just like the rest of the album but here are the lyrics 

“Hurts so good, love and pain” well.. it’s not for her fans like she said.

10. Undercover

I love this song, but that’s not the point. 

Here are the lyrics

“I got a craving for you, baby can we get out of here?” She wants to go have sex and as the next line says, she’s feeling horny as fuck and she wants him or her all to herself. She wants to keep it undercover.

“And you can navigate me like a map that you know by heart” Lol, he or she is gonna navigate through her body doing god knows what.

11. Love Will Remember

Oh look, the song Selena claimed to write about Justin (along with Forget Forever) but really didn’t. 

HOMEGIRL HAD THE NERVE, to include a fake voicemail of “Justin” to get people to buy the album (sadly no one really did) and say that she wrote the song WITH him. Oh Selly, lying with class <3 

Anyways, the song is not sexual. It’s a song talking about how she’s hurt and the performance includes her fake crying. 

Bonus Songs: 

1. Nobody Does It Like You

Basically, he brings out her wild side (in bed). 

“You hit me like a hurricane” lol no it’s an abusive relationship. The entire song is talking about how she loves this guy (or girl) so obviously that lyric is not hinting abuse but how they are in bed. And she can never say no because she’s turned on. 

Sigh.

I’m so annoyed by these lyrics. 

2. Music Feels Better

I’m so annoyed by this album and no it’s not the auto-tune or the dumb lyrics but the fact that the entire song revolves around ONE thing and that’s sex. 

My god.

Have the decency to make an album for your fans in which they can relate to or make an album that has meaning. 

Self-explanatory. 

3. Lover In Me

This song is the definition of terrible. Seriously, it makes no sense and you can barely tell it’s Selena singing because her voice is so auto-tuned so much to the point where you can barely tell it’s her. 

The entire first part talks about sex and then the second verse says “And when I waken next to you” You get the point. 

4. I Like It That Way

The song is irritating and it makes completely no sense. I don’t feel like breaking it down for you guys because the title says enough.

~

I’M DONE! Blessss. Writing this was fun in the beginning but her songs got so irritating as the album bore me on

~

As we see, Classlena had an entire album that its songs were 98% about sex… and not just sex in general but intimate sex. Hey! At least she does it WITH CLASS. The funny part, is that all these songs are performed for little kids at her concerts and they’re played on Radio Disney as well. Role model <3

And what’s funny is, the whole album is all about intimate sex and she said 

ok slut.

-

Hope you enjoyed this post :)

Follow me on Twitter and talk to me on ask.fm.